Ready To Love
by LoneeWolf
Summary: God, she was so stupid. How could she think that he was back? He would never be back again. EVER. He had told her that. That his heart no longer belonged to her. And it saddened her. That, after everything she had done for him, he'd just throw her away when the other one returned from the dead. How dare he?


Tears fell.

Not happy tears that you shed when you just got a very desired Christmas present. Not the tears you shed when your best friend helps you get up after a major fall, the kind of fall you don't feel worthy to get up from. Not the ones you cry when your best friend (and secret crush) comes back from a very dangerous mission and you crush him in your arms, relieved that he's back, safe and sane. Not the tears you cry when he chooses you over one of the most beautiful girl on the guild.

No. This weren't tears of happiness.

These were tears of pain.

These were tears of angst.

These were tears of sadness.

These were tears of a heart-broken girl.

They had the world in their hands. The horizon was their destiny. The life was theirs to life and enjoy in the company of each other. Nothing could be done against them. Their trust on each other was too deep to be broken by outsiders. They knew, with a mere look, what the other was thinking, what the other was feeling. And what the other needed at that moment. A kiss, a firm hug, a strong reassure or simple and pure attention.

 _You took a piece of my heart_  
 _I never thought that this could fall apart_

Her head jumped in the second she heard those words. But immediately let it down again, realizing it was just the radio playing. God, she was so stupid. How could she think that he was back? He would never be back again. EVER. He had told her that. That his heart no longer belonged to her. And it saddened her. That, after everything she had done for him, he'd just throw her away when _she_ returned from the dead. How dare he?

 _You said you fell in love_  
 _And this was more than I had ever been afraid of_

Her golden hair fell over her shoulder, in a limp and dirty cascade. She couldn't remember the last time she had gotten up from that place. Maybe she had been there since she gotten the news that he was with her. At first, she didn't want to believe, they would usually play with her about such. But Mirajane's face had told her everything. She wasn't joking. She wished she was.

She had turned around and saw him. With his arm wrapped around her. Wrapped around that bitch's shoulder. The moment their eyes crossed was the break point. She grabbed her whip and walked away, pushing her way between them. She had heard him call her name, but she didn't even bother to turn around; she just raised her arm and showed him the middle finger. She knew that wasn't very polite of her, but she had to.

 _Another life, another happy ending_  
 _It cuts like a knife_

And there she was. In her bedroom, sitting on the floor. Her back against her bed. Crying her eyes out. Some friends had tried to come inside her house and help her with her pain, but the blonde didn't allow them. She had heard every single call and knock. She could point out the people that cared about her. Levy, Erza, Gray, Mirajane, hell, even Gajeel! And… Him. Not the main source of her pain. ' _He didn't even notice that I was gone_ ', she bet. No. But his best friend did. The small furry winged blue best friend did noticed that the blonde no longer appeared in the guild. And there he was, at her window, every day at the same time, knocking on her window and asking her if he could come inside. The window had never been closed, but still, the small cat would ask for permission.

 _You got me deeper than deep and I'm constantly blinded_  
 _I'm running around but there's no place to hide_

But today was different. She didn't care anymore. She could feel her heart breaking. She could hear the **_cracks_ ** inside her, every time the muscle beat. And she heard the knock once more in her window. And his soft voice, wishing a good morning to her, and asking, this time, shyer, if he could come inside. He said that he missed her. He missed her smell, her warmth, her smile. And today, her answer was different. She needed someone to hug. Someone to cry on. Someone to hug her back and whisper sweet nothings at her ear. So, without raising her head from her arms, she whispered:

"Yes."

Less than a second after those words left her lips, she felt a bundle of fur over her head, squirming and fisting her blond locks, nuzzling them and crying out, replying that he missed her very much. The blonde cracked a smile. She removed the cat from her head and set him on her lap, looking at him with bloodshot eyes.

"Lucy… I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Happy. There's nothing you could have done to stop this. He made his choice."

 _I start to talk in my sleep, our souls are divided  
How can't they forgive me these demons inside?_

 _Deeper than deep and I'm constantly blinded  
My heart starts to shiver for I was letting up._

"He made a mistake, Lucy. He's regretting it." The cat affirmed, trying to convince Lucy.

"I don't believe you. If he did regret it, he would have told me that. And he didn't. Everyone in the guild has already come here, Happy. Even Master Makarov." Lucy told him "He didn't."

The small cat knew she was right. He knew that his best friend wouldn't come. Didn't come. He didn't know the reason. Especially because they weren't hanging out anymore. They stopped hanging out the very moment Happy picked Lucy's side.

"The guild is divided, Lucy. Even though some are on Natsu's side, like Laxus and Freed, most of them have pick your side. Because they know Natsu was wrong to let you go and choose…"

"Don't!" Lucy exclaimed, covering her ears "Don't say her name. Please."

"I'm sorry. Just… Come back. Just today. So that people know you're okay. So people know that you're alive."

"I… Okay."

* * *

 _Time will tell a single day can help me break this spell  
Don't want to be alone  
When will I be understood when is my kingdom to come?_

The girl entered the big guild doors. The noisy crowd no longer existed. Just some buzzling in the background, coming from someone's magic practice, or Mirajane's new coffee machine. Nothing was according to the normal and loud way. It was like… All the life of that place was gone. Like someone took the happiness, the joy, the laughter, the craziness, what made Fairy Tail, well... Fairy Tail and shove it down a dark big hole, locking it away. Lucy gulped and looked around.

Levy wasn't chatting happily with her teammates like usual. Mirajane lost her sweet smile, and Erza wasn't eating strawberry cake. Gray had his clothes on. Elfman wasn't bragging about 'being a man' and Juvia wasn't declaring her undying love for her 'Gray-sama'. There was no life left. And, luckily for Lucy, _he_ wasn't there.

The blonde cleared her throat and the happier greeting she could muster at the moment. Several pairs of eyes rose to her, and chairs were dragged, tables flipped over and hell broke loose just to get to Lucy. And she was crushed by a big amount of hands and arms trying to hug her and make sure that she was there. Lucy started crying again, and so did her guild mates, but the latter ones were happy to see her again.

"Lucy, are you okay?"

"Lucy, you're back!"

"Lucy, we missed you so much!"

"Lucy!"

"Lucyyy!"

Those were the only sentences that could be heard. The yelps of surprise, the laughter of happiness, the sighs of relief. The pure and light sounds that now filled the guild turned Lucy's desperation and pain into something she could bare now. Her friends were with her now, there was nothing else that could break her apart. The guild began to turn back to normal, once Gray lost all of his clothes and Elfman exclaiming that 'that isn't a very manly thing to do' and Lucy found herself smiling.

 _Another happy ending and I'll be alive_  
 _Another place, another time_

"You guys, STOP!" Lucy exclaimed. The noise immediately stopped, and everyone looked at Lucy once more. She cleared her throat and spoke:

"I know I haven't been around for long, and I just wanted you to know that I had my reasons. I know that you know what I'm going through and I know that you're gonna tell me that it's no excuse to leave your friends behind, but please understand that every memory that I have connected to this guild, _he_ is in it."

"Lucy, we understand. We do." Mirajane declared "And we know that he is our guild mate. But you are also our friend and guild mate. And if he hurt you deeply, we have no problem about turning against him! Lucy…"

"You're special. You're our friend. It's true, we grew up with Natsu and we're friends with him. But we're also your friends. And we're not giving up on you. Especially because Natsu broke you. And we're gonna fight to make things right." Levy, the small bookworm, declared with a smile.

Lucy smiled back and pulled the two females into a strong hug. She was stupid into thinking that her friends would take Natsu's side on this. He had no reason on what he did. On breaking her like he did. And Lucy began to realize that her friends were truly there for her, better or worse. Just like he had promised to be. She pulled away again and smiled once more, this time it stayed on her face.

Suddenly, the doors of the guild opened and the joy that Lucy was able to restore to the place was one more time gone. Everyone was quiet, staring at the door. The facial expressions were numerous, but it was common to see disappointment, anger, sadness and even disdain. Lucy frowned at her friends' attitude, but once she turned to the opened doors, she wished she never did such.

 _I'm running around but there's no place to hide_  
 _I start to talk in my sleep, our souls are divided_

Natsu stood there. His face hard, emotionless and beat. His clothes were a mess, dirty and in disarray. His salmon hair, wilder and longer, his bangs starting to cover his forehead. His body had filled up. He always had been built up, but it was like the muscles were more defined. Lucy gulped. Her friends had been able to push away the darkness she was feeling, but now it was back in full force. She tried to move and hide behind Gajeel, whom had accompanied Levy to the blonde's side, but she knew that it wasn't worth it. He could smell her miles away. Lucy was about to make herself invisible when…

 **BAAMM!**

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" his deep voice called out.

"How dare you, how dare you, HOW DARE YOU!" a soft high-pitched voice exclaimed. Lucy looked in its direction and saw Happy punching and kicking Natsu with all of the power he kept in his tiny body.

"Happy…" Natsu tried, but the little Exceed exclaimed:

"You broke her! You promised everyone you would never do that! You promised that you would be there to wipe her tears away, to stop her sobs, but you are the reason behind them! You swore for Igneel! And now you broke her big perfect heart and now she doesn't want to be with us anymore! She wants to leave and never come back! She wants to disappear! She wishes she never met us!"

"Happy, what are you talking about?!"

"I heard her talking! I heard her crying every night over your stupid so called 'mistake'! I heard her weep, talk about leaving, considering the hypotheses of DEATH! And you sit around in the park under a tree having a picnic with LISANNA?! How dare you do that! How could you even think that everything was going to be okay after that?! I can't…"

"Happy, enough." Lucy declared, stepping out to the vision field. She heard him let out a gasp and walk to her, but saw Gray stopping him immediately. The small cat flew to her arms and hugged her tight. She smiled to his and kissed his forehead before advancing for Natsu.

 _How can't they forgive me these demons inside?_

She took a deep breath before staring at him hard in the eye. She saw a wave of emotions in those dark onyx pools, his harsh gulp, his deep breath. She knew he was taking in her scent. He always did that when he was away from her for a long time. She saw him taking in her appearance. Her thinner frame, her salient bone cheeks. Her lost and empty gaze. Her already fragile soul broken into a million pieces.

"I can't believe you expect everything to go back to the way it was before when you know that it's impossible."

"Lucy…" he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. His fingers were burning. He wanted to touch her so bad. But he knew he couldn't. There was no way in hell that she would let him come back that easily. Unfortunately, his heart and body had a mind of its own and his hand rose, caressing her cheek. But Lucy immediately slapped it away, exclaiming:

"Don't touch me! You're not allowed to touch me after everything you've done to me!"

 _You got me deeper than deeper and I'm constantly blinded_  
 _I'm running around but there's no place to hide_

"Lucy, please…"

"No! Do you even know what you did to me?! Four years, Natsu. FOUR FUCKING YEARS! We were together for four years and when that BITCH came along you have no hesitation on dumping me for her?!" Lucy yelled, not being able to hide her anger and pain anymore.

"Lucy… I know I made a…"

"Mistake? Is that what you were going to say? A mistake? A MISTAKE IS FORGETTING THE LIST OF THE GROCERIES AT HOME! A MISTAKE IS DESTROING A HOUSE WHEN THE MISSION WAS BURNING A SIMPLE ARTEFACT! NOT DUMPING THE GIRL YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER WITH FOR FOUR YEARS AND GO AFTER AN AFFECTION OBJECT FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD!"

"You're right…"

"OF COURSE I'M RIGHT‼ How can you even think that I'm wrong?! I get it, you think your love for her is real! Natsu, you don't wait for a girl that is assumed to be dead. You don't hook up with her the second you lay your eyes on her. It's just… Wrong. And even if it was the case… How can it be that you're ready for love?"

"I'm not. Lucy…"

"I shouldn't. But I forgive you for doing so. I understand. Well, I don't, but I hope you find true happiness with her. The kind of happiness WE had. The kind of happiness you deserve."

Lucy smiled softly and walked past him, after putting Happy on the ground. She felt tears pricking on to her eyes, but she quickly stopped them. She didn't want him to know how much this hurt her. To let go of him for another woman, to let go of the only man she will ever love. To let go of her safe port, to let go of the person who held her heart. She held her head up high and was about to leave when a hand grasped on her wrist and pulled her back.

 _Deeper than deep and I'm constantly blinded_  
 _My heart starts to shiver for I was letting up._  
 _I start to talk in my sleep, our souls are divided._

She looked back to see who was stopping her. Natsu held her firmly, but refused to look her in the eye. Lucy frowned and tried to break herself free, but his grip tightened at each time. Her other hand grabbed his wrist and tried to push him away, but he wasn't letting. She knew he was stronger than her in every single way, but that didn't stop her from trying to make her statement.

"Tell me you hate me. Tell me you'll kill me each time you see me in the street. Tell me you'll never let me live it down. Tell me you will never forgive me." He whispered, the pain in his voice almost palpable.

"I can't." Lucy declared, shrugging.

"TELL ME!" he ordered, looking up to her. Lucy gasped. He was crying.

"Natsu…"

"TELL ME YOU HATE ME! TELL ME YOU NEVER WANNA SEE MY FACE AGAIN!"

"No."

"TELL ME!"

"NO!" she exclaimed back "I can't. Because it's not true!"

"Tell me…" he begged, falling on his knees. "Show me something. Show me anger. Show me disdain. Show me rage. Don't forgive me. Be mad at me."

"Why?"

"I broke you. I made a mistake. I… I went after something that I could never have and I took what I already had for granted. I thought that she was what I needed. I… I'm no longer with her, Lucy. She… She's not the same Lisanna I knew. The Lisanna I knew would never stab me in the back and sell me out to our enemy. She would never do it."

"So she hurt you and now you're crawling back to me?! How stupid do you think I am?!"

"You're not stupid. I knew she had changed when, once I was able to get out, she joined me again. She… She changed. And when I turned her down, she started blaming you for my mistakes, she said you were the reason why I wasn't strong enough for her… She sold you out too, Lucy."

"I can't believe. You surely don't expect me to go back after…"

"No. Of course not. I… I just wanted you to know that I made a mistake when I chose her over you. You were, are and always will be who I want. But I can never have you again. Not when I fucked up royalty. I love you, Lucy. I love you like I've never loved anyone before. Like I will never love anyone ever again." He declared, letting go of her.

Lucy stared at him for a while, eyes wide open. His were down, finding the floor and never leaving it. He knew that there was no turning back for what he did. Picking Lisanna over Lucy. Now, when he thought about that, it made him mock himself. _'Like that would ever happen'_ , he thought. All he could expect was for the two of them remained in the same team, even though things could never be the same ever again.

 **SLAP!**

"HOW DARE YOU!" She yelled, but he said nothing. It felt good. His burning cheek meant that she was angry at him. Good.

"HOW DARE YOU TELL ME YOU LOVE ME?! HOW DARE YOU CRUSH ME LIKE THAT!" she asked him, hitting him repeatedly on the chest, her tiny hands turned into fists.

"I'm sorry…" he begged, letting her land the punches.

"How dare you claim that you love me all along when you dump me for that BITCH! How dare you crawl that sweet ass back to the guild when you know that everyone is against you?! How dare you even TRY to speak to me, knowing how hard and deep you broke me?! How dare you… How dare you loving me back…?"

His eyes shot open and stared at her. Had he… Had he heard her right…? Loving her **back**? Did that meant that she loved him? She still loved him? After everything he had done, she still loved him? She still nourished such feelings for him? It was more than he could ever take. He pulled her to himself and involved her on a bone-crushing hug. His fingers entwined with her gold locks, his other hand securing her waist.

She felt his breath on her neck. His tears on her shoulder. His hair tickling her cheek. And she smiled. His warmth, like pure fire. His smell, like ashes. His presence. His power. His soul. She turned her head, looking for something. He pulled away a little, just to see what was she looking for when his lips met hers. Soft, calm and warm. Like herself. Her kisses were just like her. He knew that this was her way of telling him it was okay. Telling him that they were going to get through the obstacle together. That they could have a second chance.

"I love you so much that it hurts." He whispered against her lips, feeling her fist his shirt in her hands and smile.

"I love you too… Promise you won't leave me. And this time Natsu, it's for real."

"I promise. If I ever break it, I'm sure that every single mage around us makes sure that I get punished for what I did." He told her, hearing her laugh and pull him for another kiss.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you so much for reading. This has beenon my head for a while, ever since I've hear the song. It's called 'Ready To Love' , from Cascada. If you wish to read it, please choose the slow version of the song. I wish to thank LadyDiamond92 for being my BETA and I hope you all like this. She was the one that showed me this song, so thanks a lot, honey! Read and review, if you may.**

 **LoneeWolf :)**


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